I told myself I would try to blog everyday. It has been two months since I’ve blogged. Life got in the way along with my being saddened by the events in Ferguson. I do more via Twitter than I’ve done on this blog because I have to protect my real working life. A lot has happened since I last blogged. I told myself months ago that I would not speak on the Ray Rice incident because I felt like there were already much better writers and bloggers discussing the issue. However, months after he lost his job in the NFL, his endorsements, and the NFL Commissioner came under fire, I find myself having to say something. You are probably wondering why I have decided to say something now. Well, Halloween has incited my anger again.
One of the benefits of social media like Twitter and Instagram is that it gives people the opportunity to interact with all kinds of folks. That same social media can also put absolute nonsense into your feeds. I have seen multiple costumes of men dressing up as Ray and Janay Rice. Including many white people in blackface. Now, listen, there are two things here I need to address. Let me start with the obvious one. White people, come close now, stop dressing in fucking blackface! How many times do you need to be told that? It is not funny. It is not cute. It is one of the most ignorant things you can do. Black people are not a form of comedy. What is so damn hard to understand about that? Help me understand. I’m baffled ever single time I see it. Blackface is a topic that deserves its own post. It has a deep history that I don’t want to get into right now. I will get into it at some point on this blog. I just wanted to get that out before I get to the meat of this post.
Now, for those who have been living under a rock, Ray Rice is a former player for the Baltimore Ravens. Ray Rice was seen on tape knocking his then fiancée out in an elevator and then dragging her limp body in a hotel. That’s the quickest way I can explain it because I’m not linking that video. After much outrage, the NFL finally decided to suspend Rice indefinitely. He had previously only had a three game suspension. Aside from the fact that he should have been suspended from the NFL from the start, it shed a bright light on not only what the NFL thinks of domestic violence (some states may refer to it as intimate partner violence), but what many people in general think. I cannot tell you how sick I was to see some of the comments being made. They varied from, “she stepped to him first,” all the way to, “well, she probably did something to deserve it.” Let me explain something to anyone who may come across this blog. At no point did Janay Rice deserve any of that. At no point does any woman deserve that. Also, I am completely aware that men are victims of domestic violence. However, the data shows that women are the victims more often than men. I’m speaking for women, as a woman. I wanted to put that in there for those who may want to challenge this with that bit of information.
I have been going back and forth about whether to post a link of the Ray Rice costume that sent me over the edge. I will so everyone can really understand why this is not only upsetting, but absolutely moronic. The costume worn by the couple shows them in blackface. The father is in a Ray Rice jersey and the mother painted a black eye on her face along with her blackface. Who took this picture? None other than the couple’s son. He also included some hashtags that will make your jaw drop. I literally stared at the photo for ten minutes trying to figure out what was going through their minds. What kind of husband thinks it’s funny to dress up as a man who committed an absolutely egregious act of domestic violence? What kind of wife goes along with it and paints a black eye on her face? Why is your son taking this photo? Help me understand because I am lost.
Women who have been victims of domestic violence are not a joke. There are women who have been killed because some man decided to make her his punching bag. I am of the firm belief that it was nothing but God that kept Janay alive that night. I saw the video thanks to Facebook’s automatic video playing foolishness. There is nothing funny about it. Nothing can justify the horror that is domestic violence. Dressing up like Ray and Janay Rice not only fuels the ignorance, it glorifies violence against women. Women can barely walk down the street without being harassed. We fight for our dignity all day. Add in laughing about women being beaten like their dogs is disgusting and more than I can take. To the couple in the photo, you are an embarrassment to your community. You are an embarrassment to your family. I pray your son finds some sense. I think it would do you all some good to sit and talk to victims of domestic violence and see how funny you think your costumes are afterward.
Halloween use to be a holiday I enjoyed. It meant free candy and dressing up like a princess, or a superhero. It meant fun. I’m an adult now and it no longer has that feeling. I brace myself for the amount of ignorance that comes with Halloween when you’re a grown up. It’s sad, really. I want to end this post by saying, if anyone is in a situation and needs help, please see the information I linked above. You can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for resources. If you want to be an ally and help women in domestic violence situations, they also have information there as well. I’ll end this blog with a quote that I think speaks volumes.
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood
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